Sometimes, I feel as though life is just passing me by. It’s the end of July already, what have I accomplished in 2017?
I’m on my THIRD job of the year. On one hand, I feel like an absolute job-getting machine and despite some not-so-happy working experiences, I have managed to pad out my CV with some pretty decent skills. On the other, I have outgrown the type of working environment I’m in, that’s my diagnosis on this job dissatisfaction malarkey.
I’m an intelligent person, I find bureaucracy frustrating to the point of madness. I’m a free thinker, a decision maker… I need opportunities to put my ideas into practise. I value individuality, creativity, open communication, morality, COMMON SENSE. Working for companies that value basic branding (i.e, appealing to a society afraid of change) over progression, is severely limiting to me.
Anywaaaay, this is all good and fine because maybe, just maybe (don’t get too excited), I’m ready to start thinking about a career vs a job. I was happy being just a small cog in a big machine when I was spending every penny I took home on fun, but now my priorities are changing. I have goals (beyond getting drunk at the weekend and buying the entire new MAC collection), I have dreams of a real future.
I guess, as with everything in my life, this takes me back to depression. As someone who has struggled with severe depression since childhood, there have been many points in my life where I wasn’t able to imagine a future, when I couldn’t imagine tomorrow.
I am in a good place right now, in my mind. I am 18 months seizure free, I am sleeping well, eating well, allowing myself to just BE and enjoying it.
My job is physically hard, so I’m looking at it as a bootcamp, instead of a job… A bootcamp I get paid to attend. I will be leaving in September to finish my degree and find my career.
So, in conclusion, besides not having much to show for the year, I’ve gained so much. A sense of worth, confidence, focus… We are back on track my friends.
Also, here’s my weekly progress form Fitbit 🙂